The New

Jezuz. This weekend was a cluster fuck. Left Friday halfway between when I wanted to hit the road and when Suki wanted to. Although primarily due to weather. We had to wait out the monsoon to get everyone in the car for a good 20-30 minutes.

6-7 hours of driving and 6-7 hours of the Professor napping, plus immunization shots the day before yielded a screaming infant at some ungodly hour in the middle of the West Virginian night amongst 6 other campers. It's bad enough that he wasn't sleeping and woke us up (already sleep deprived) but the worst aspect for me was that we were now responsible for the lack of sleep of everyone in earshot (pretty sure the entire state).

Add in a friend's allergic reaction to something which caused her eyeball to swell. Pretty gross and scary for sure, throw in an unanticipated 2-3 mile trail run to recover left behind camera and car keys and top it off with what appeared to be a relationship ending arguement and the weekend was sure to be a bust.

But we returned, together, took our time getting home, drank a spectacular sixty cent coffee that got me through the last 4 hours in no time, celebrated a good friend's birthday, drank a Long Trail and got to climb.

Lessons learned: No 6-7 hour drives for a while, underpriced small "large" coffees are underrated, Volvo's suck, always double check that you have everything packed, don't "ditch", have fun.

I'm tired and still a little worried.

Regardless of what actually went down, it was a good weekend overall. We got the entire family out into the woods, climbed and got home safely.

What's a cracker hafa do?

We're not in the same place.

We may not even be in the same state.

We are moving forward but one of us has doubts. Now both of us do.

We are both tired, and think the other should shoulder more responsibility.

We need a break.

We need sleep.

We need money.

We need an air conditioner.

Do we need each other?

I'm tired of wondering if she'll decide to move on, all while planning a life together.

A weekend in a tent was to be therapuetic. I hope I don't just end up staring at the night sky, worrying.

I try to keep the worrying to myself, so as to not worry others. But that is obviously not the approach I need to be taking.

I'm tired of making decisions as if shooting from the hip. Of course analysis of each decision does not need to be the lengthy process I tend to make it. But one thing typically leads to another, and a quick decision can turn around and bite us in the ass.

So we need to think, long and hard, as to what it is we want and who we want that to be with.

I'm in, have been since day one, had drunken thoughts just one time, two years ago (almost) and I know I'll never live it down. But honestly that's all.

I question what it is that you are missing. What you never had. What you are looking for. Don't settle. I'm not.

I'm in...are you?

Things to do this year...

Buy a house
Pay off debt
Take and Pass LARE
Meet Dad-Done
Meet Brother-Done
Get Hitched
Celebrate first Father's day
Start climbing again
Celebrate Bry-guy's first birthday

Ahh, that's better

We climbed hard and well last night. Inside, but that's the price we pay for having an infant in tow.

Creative juices back home. Painting playroom furniture. Sox won.

Pretty good day, tired, but good.

Showered.

Awkward doesn't even begin to describe the 'shower' our neighbors threw for another expecting neighbor of ours. She was quoted as saying 'they went ALL out' on making this shower happen.

Our expectant neighbors aren't from the area, heck they aren't even from this country. Both are Ukrainian and have no family here, and their friends are all in Philly. We definitely wanted to do something for them, even thought about getting them a car seat. Sorry, no stimulus package yet for the Pah and fam, so no car seat.

The planners, called the Ukrainian delegate to invite friends. We were politely asked to make a pasta dish. We arrived to a very structured and benign 'party' atmosphere. All along the way we were told that they did a very good job of everything, decorations (*this consisted of a streamer and a paper sign), home made meatballs and special rolls from a local bakery, Stella in bottles.

Turns out none of their friends could make it. Could we leave soon enough? I had a few minutes of relief when the Professor may have had a stinky diaper. Suki managed a good 10-15 pause for feeding time.

We have our suspicions about these neighbors, but awkward and mysterious ways prevent any closure or ruling.

The Ukrainian connection I assume were equally as uncomfortable. Oh well. One down.

Sunday we had another strange shower. This time though the planning was perfect. Two families, one chain smoking and the other not. I had to intervene and snatch the professor to take him away from all the second hand smoke.

Nice family though. Just wish each was accepting of the other.